How to Increase Your Child’s Compliant Behavior

Anyone out there tired of repeating yourself?   One of my goals this year is to yell less! I tend to escalate quickly as I ask for the second and third tenth time.  “Please brush your teeth” turns into “Get in here and brush your teeth, NOW” quickly.  This request is usually followed by complaints and groans (or worse) from my kids!  In order to make my goal of yelling less a reality, I am bringing back an easy reward system to encourage compliant behavior!  How or why we let it slip out of our daily routine is still unclear!!!  You can do it too!  Just follow 3 easy steps!

  1. Buy or upcycle jelly jars and grab some craft pom-poms

    You will need multiple jars.  One jar to hold the pom-poms, and one jar for each child.  Pom-poms are moved to each child’s jar as they “earn” them.  You (or they) can decorate each jar with glitter glue, stickers, or ribbon.

  2. Put the jars in a central location and explain the concept to your kids. 

    Display the jars in an area centrally located in your home (avoid out of sight, out of mind).  Parents determine what the reward will be when their child fills up their jar.  It could be a special toy, special outing, etc.  If you are using a big jar, I would suggest painting or marking the jar halfway or at other points along the jar so that the reward does not feel as far away to the child.  We have smaller jars this go around, and the reward is a toy from Dollar Tree.  Compliant behavior earns each child pom-poms (usually a disclaimer of without complaining is added).  For example (my son), “You can earn 2 pom-poms for getting ready for the day.”  (If mornings are a struggle for you, then check out my post about improving morning routines.)  Another example (my daughter), “You can earn 1 pom-pom for every night you stay in your bed all night.”  We use the reward universally to encourage compliant behavior.

  3. Reward and enjoy. 

    The pom-poms have been a big motivator for compliant behavior.  They love to put them in their own jar, and as they accumulate they plan what they might choose.  We do not reward for everything, but the concept helps to get ahead of things that could quickly escalate!

It seems so easy to focus on positive reinforcement vs. negative reinforcement.  In the craziness of life and the heat of the moment the negative behavior usually gets the attention!  Set this reward system up in a few minutes with a few dollars, and you will see improvements!  Behavior has turned around here in about a day!  Good luck and stay strong :)!


24 thoughts on “How to Increase Your Child’s Compliant Behavior

    1. It really works. It seems so simple, but providing a visual and a goal is so helpful! Good luck!

    1. Ohhh, just wait until 3! Seriously, starting early is helpful! Making it the norm vs. teaching a new behavior is always easier! Enjoy!

  1. My friend has done this and said it worked great! Now maybe I should get on board and do this. My little 2 yr old is not compliant at all.

    1. They test early, don’t they?!? It really does work. I have one “pleaser” and another that needs a little more motivation :)!

    1. Thanks. We definitely see the benefits when we keep our cool and reward the positive behavior! Thanks for the note!

  2. I do this with “tickets” rather than pom poms. It was working at first and has been forgotten about. I have been trying to reorganize our command centre and in doing so, the rocket basket has been placed out of sight. I need to get it back out.

    1. We had awards of toys this weekend from the dollartree! It is totally working! Go for it!

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